Dear Annie: I have been with my boyfriend for six years. He is still legally married to his wife, and his children are grown. I have a great relationship with his family and children. The problem is that, for whatever reason, he keeps putting off officially getting a divorce. He gives excuse after excuse. I love this man and his children and want a home together with him. I have put it all on the line: I’ve told him that if he doesn’t get the divorce, then I can’t be with him.
I don’t want to live out my older years knowing that if, God forbid, something should happen to him, I am pretty much left in the dust, with no say and no rights as far as he goes. I am desperate for help here.
What do I do?
— Losing Hope
Dear Losing Hope: You put the ultimatum out there — get a divorce or you’ll leave — and with very good reason. At this point, all that’s left to do is follow-through. Break things off. Either he’ll take this as the kick in the pants he needed to finally get a divorce and come to you ready to fully commit — or he’ll let you go, and you’ll be free to meet someone who’s more ready to commit. Both outcomes leave you far better off than you are now.
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