Fallen heroes not forgotten by Antelope Valley

`The things you take for granted, they no longer have'

New York Firefighter Robert Foti was never found.

Nothing can bring these husbands and fathers back or take away the pain their families feel, a year later. But it's nice when somebody can provide a diversion, take their minds off of it for a little while at least.

It's good to let them know that fallen heroes John D'Allara and Robert Foti are not forgotten, and neither are their families.

"This makes it more personal," Sgt. Marty Shearer of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department was saying the other day. "It was personal before, because it was an attack on our country. But now, to see these kids who no longer have their dads - It's very personal."

Shearer is one of a group of deputies and firefighters from the Antelope Valley who welcomed the families of John D'Allara and Robert Foti for a two-week visit last month.

It's the latest chapter in a special friendship that was formed last October, when two young deputies from the Mira Loma facility in Lancaster, Greg Pruyne and Jeff Bishop, raised money for New Yorkers. The pair decided to go to the city, find a family and personally deliver the donations.

The family they found was the Foti family - mom Florence, daughter Alycia, 13, and son Robert Jr., 12.

The deputies and firefighters who went to New York last fall took the children Christmas shopping at F.A.O. Swartz. Everywhere they went, New Yorkers opened up to them; thanked them for their kindness and their service to America, shook their hands, bought them dinner. It was overwhelming and left them wanting to do more.

The AV men stayed in touch, and also made contact with the NYPD along the way, looking for a family there they could "adopt." That turned out to be the D'Allara family - Carol and her sons John Jr., 8, and Nicholas, 4. John D'Allara Sr. was a 20-year veteran cop, whose body wasn't found until the end of May.

Several AV people flew back to New York in early June to show support for the family and attend John's funeral.

"With Robert Foti, they found his helmet, but that was all," Jeff Bishop said. "His brother Joe is a firefighter, too, but he hasn't gone back to work. Joe also lost 15 guys from his station that day."

For some of us, the TV specials and newspaper articles bring back the horror of Sept. 11, but the D'Allaras and the Fotis need no TV specials or newspapers to bring it all back.

"As a nation, I think we're getting too comfortable again," Bishop said. "Going back to our old ways. For people to see the actual families who were involved really is a reminder."

The families enjoyed a whirlwind tour of the Southland, hitting such highlights as a dinner at the Universal Sheraton, watching the taping of the Tonight Show, visiting the back lot at Universal Studios, going to a Dodger game and meeting the players, spending a couple days at Disneyland and four days at the beach, as well as a pool party in Lancaster.

At the Dodger game, Sgt. Shearer remembers one particularly moving incident. Catcher Chad Kreuter met with the kids and put their dads' names on his helmet. Kreuter's own little boys were with him as he talked to the kids from New York. "And at one point he got choked up and he had to turn away for a minute," Shearer said.

For 13-year-old Alycia Foti, an unforgettable moment came near the end of the trip. Her favorite TV show is the NBC hospital drama "E.R." Her hosts presented her with an autographed picture of the cast. But wait, there was more. With the picture was a letter inviting Alycia to appear as an "extra" on the E.R. episode that will air Oct. 17. She plays a car crash victim.

A fund-raising effort sent the families home with almost $30,000 each. "That was very gratifying," Shearer said. "All the money that was raised for them from the big funds, that's one thing. But here you have two fathers gone, and these four children."

Again, this was personal.

For deputies Pruyne and Bishop, who started it all, it was a pleasure to have their New York friends meet their own families here in California.

"I noticed the boys really clung to us," Shearer said. "They'd start looking around for us right away if we stepped away for just a minute. It's like we were their fathers for two weeks. The things you take for granted, they no longer have. And you just hope that someone would do this for your kids if anything happened to you."

William P. Warford's column appears every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. You can write to him at P.O. Box 4050, Palmdale, CA 93590-4050, call him at (661) 267-4166 or e-mail him at Wpwcolumn@aol.com.

Uploaded September 10, 2002